This is what PTSD looks like.
I don’t talk about that time in my life much but I’ve been really inspired by Lady Gaga. I think it’s incredibly brave of her to share it her story so I’ going to share mine too.
So being completely real with you. I was 20 when I was triggered. It was in the middle of a psychology lecture about how psychologists work with people hospitalised for physical pain. They said something that suddenly took me back to a time 10 years before. It felt like my life was being played on a movie screen in front of me and I started to panic. Over the next 6 months, I had all kinds of symptoms – flashbacks, auditory and visual hallucinations, hysterical crying all day, every day.
It was the scariest thing I’ve ever been through and at the time, I saw no way out of it. After 3 months, I finally saw a professional who told me the same thing. “This is your life now, you will have this diagnosis for the rest of your life and what we can do here is help you manage it”. I refused to accept that. I couldn’t understand how one day I was happy and the next I was forever changed. I knew there must be a way out and refused to accept that this would be the rest of my life.
The reason why I share these photos is because PTSD hasn’t got a certain look. I thought PTSD was reserved for war veterans and rape victims, but it’s not. It can happen to anyone who has undergone trauma. Any type of trauma.
There is nothing obvious in these photos that shows I’m not in a stable place. (Before you mention the alcohol, I only left the house for 21st birthdays so that’s why I have a glass in my hand, not to drown my sorrows haha ? )
I am now recovered from PTSD, not recovering, 100% fully recovered. Some people don’t agree that is possible but I do. I don’t experience any symptoms or triggers from it anymore and that’s why I use the word recovered. What saved me from it was Havening and if you have PTSD, I can’t recommend it enough.
I can’t explain how isolating PTSD is but to anyone going through it, I know what it feels like. Recovery is possible, it is worth it and you aren’t doomed to live with these symptoms everyday. It does get better! #scarrednotscared