When I lost the ability to use my legs, I wished I could take back every moment I complained about how big my thighs were.
When I couldn’t move my arms because of the inflamed IV drip, I wish I could take back every time I moaned about my bingo wings.
When I flatlined, my heart stopped and died for two minutes, I wish I could take back every time I said that “I’d rather die than do my homework” or that “school was killing me”
I realised all these things at 11, but somehow over time, my life went back to normalcy and I forgot. I went back to complaining, to grumbling and although my gratitude for being alive never left me – the gratitude for my body did.
8 years of not going to hospital and I got complacent. I no longer felt lucky to be alive. I just took it for granted, like everyone else.
Until I found myself back in a hospital bed promising myself to never take anything for granted again. Not eating, drinking water, showering by yourself or sleeping without the beeping of a heart monitor.
This time it stuck. I use my body at every opportunity now. Boxing, dancing, paddle boarding, walking, and any other opportunity I can find to just move.
I very much have a “don’t mess me” attitude to life now. After all, I took on death and I won. Not many can say that. #ScarredNotScared
Unedited, unfiltered beautiful photography by @cmashphotography