YOUR INTELLIGENCE IS NOT THREATENING!
I’m going to be honest. This video was really hard to film and I stopped a couple of times and really questioned whether I wanted to upload this.
You see for me, it’s easy to yell EMPOWERED WOMAN and be all body positive and feminist… but it’s harder to go “hey, I’m shit at this and I’m working on it but I’m not there yet” and that’s essentially where I am with playing down my intelligence.
I am an intelligent person, I know this for sure now but I guess the signs were always there. For example, when I was 8 years old in “reading time”, I would read the dictionary cause the school had run out of books for me to read. I never noticed signs like this because I was always so wracked with insecurity and self doubt that I honestly didn’t notice. In fact my reputation in school amongst my friends was how stupid I was because somehow, this isn’t always conveyed, especially when I’m nervous or in new company. With dyslexia, I always got frustrated instead of getting my point out and grew angry because my brain wouldn’t put out what I was thinking in an eloquent way so I thought I was stupid. After all, everyone else did. It took years for me to even admit that I thought I was smart and I’m still struggling with showing that in social situations. Most of you would’ve been shocked if you saw me last year or the year before in front of a boy that I liked. So I made it my priority this year to fix that, and I almost have. It’s been two steps forward, one step back for 8 months but I’m getting there so I wanted to share that personal development win with you all.
It was hard to film this video, I hesitate a LOT in this but I didn’t want to edit it out cause that’s real and it’s ok to find something difficult and not be an EMPOWERED WOMAN in every single situation ever.
Give it a watch and you will see for yourself.