People Tell You Who They Are

October 15, 2017

I’ve been reminiscing a lot. I think it’s the whole 24 thing that’s happening on Sunday (not Saturday! Haha). Anyway, it got me thinking about how I used to describe myself…
“Fun in small doses”
From as young as I could remember I used to describe myself in this way. If you asked me to elaborate, I would say that you would love me if you only had to spend at most an hour with me but you’d hate me if you spent anymore.
“You’ll hate me when you first meet me but I grow on you”
As I went into my uni years, this is what I started saying about myself. There were two friends in particular who weren’t fans until towards the end of first year when one actually pulled me aside and said “you know I don’t actually hate you, I kind of think of you as my annoying little sister”. These two boys were the two I went to Norway with earlier this year, seven years later.
“I’m quite a lovable person”
This sentence was something I found myself saying last week.

Reflecting on this, these statements didn’t tell you how I actually was at the time – they tell you about my internal thoughts at that point in my life.
“Fun in small doses” – I wish I didn’t have to be me 24/7, I always thought I was too much, too hyper, too energetic, too opinionated. I thought I would like myself more if I was around myself the whole time.
“You’ll hate me when you first meet me but I grow on you” – I hated myself for 18 years but in that first year of uni was the first time I started thinking I wasn’t that bad. I was growing on me ?
“I’m quite a lovable person” – I’m easy to love because I love myself! This sentence was in a convo where I was saying now when people disagree with me, they still leave liking me or finding me endearing in my own lovable way.

People tell you who they are ALL THE TIME. I learnt this most in my relationships. I once had a boy ask me to be his girlfriend and said “but I should warn you I’m an arsehole”… boy do I wish I had listened!! Listen when people tell you who they are and change how you describe yourself to others. It will change how you actually are #ScarredNotScared