Have you ever told a friend a story and they’ve gone “omg me too” and then gone on a rant about a similar, but not similar enough story, and then you are left feeling seriously frustrated cause you didn’t even get a chance to finish your story and you kind of wanted to be heard and listened to and maybe even to get some advice?
Instead you accidentally get into a competition of whose is the worst situation. You don’t want to compete so you let them finish because their feelings are real and valid but because you already feel shame about your own story and because you are a nice person, you sit there, nod, do all the conventional “oh no!” at the appropriate time and sympathise and empathise like a good friend. Meanwhile your story lingers in the back of your head, unshared and you wonder why they couldn’t just wait until you had finished to tell their story. You let them finish, so why did you never get a chance to finish yours? Why should you have to fight and compete in order to simply be heard?You wonder if they were even listening to the first half or just preparing her own response, ready to one up you.
We’ve all had this feeling.
We all have this one friend.
Brene Brown says it’s the person who uses your problems as an opportunity to talk about herself.
This is what I feels like to be a fat woman in body positivity right now. This is what it feels like when a thin woman hunches over to show her belly rolls. This is what it feels like when a reality star who has never ever advocated for body positivity or other bodies titles her diet culture entrenched book “Body Positive” in order to capitalise on a trend.
Be mindful. Be respectful. This isn’t a trend for some of us. #ScarredNotScared#BodyPositive