When You Have Bald Patches

February 13, 2018

I got this scar when I was 11.

It was when my brain tumour was removed and I argued with the doctor for an hour because I didn’t want to have the surgery because I thought it would make me look like a “freak”. (Excuse the ableist term, but this is 11 year old me). I would have rather lived with a brain tumour than have a bald patch.

I have only showed it once on this page, I still don’t find it beautiful and don’t think I ever will. I have accepted it though… for the most part.

More recently I’ve been losing quite a lot of hair and I’ve got a little sensitive about it. People have started joking about my hair getting everywhere more and yesterday whilst I was tying my hair up, I noticed in the mirror that in a pony tail, you can now see it.

You want to know my first, real, unfiltered thought was? The last time I wore a ponytail was on a date two days before and my mind jumped to wondering whether he saw/noticed/cared.

You know what I did next? I kept my hair down and went with my day. I have not thought about it since actually until I was scrolling through my camera roll and deciding what I wanted to post today. I found this picture from a month ago when I felt so beautiful having this scar captured as part of @sophiemayanne ‘s @behindthescars_ campaign.

Body confidence doesn’t eliminate insecure thoughts. Body confidence eliminates how much time those thoughts take up.
Body confidence also reduces how often they happen; now, it’s maybe once every 3 months.
Here’s a groundbreaking revelation: you don’t have to believe your thoughts. I thought it in a second and I think something else in another second. My thoughts don’t define me, my words and actions do. Also I think some pretty ridiculous things. The best thing I learnt to do in the face of an insecure thought is go “meh” and move on. Or my other person favourite is pretending my thoughts are like songs in a jukebox and yelling NEXT. I told you I have weird thoughts 😉 #ScarredNotScared #BehindTheScars#Scar