Michelle Elman

Body Confidence Coach

About
Book
Speaking
TV
Writing
Press
Contact

Blog

My PTSD Journey

March 21, 2018

I’ve spoken about my PTSD so many times but I haven’t ever spoken about it in depth so here’s a whole video on it

Share this:

Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment

Name *

Email *

Website

@scarrednotscared on IG

Instagram post 2182224214096949458_1610243837

@fyeahmfabello posted this on twitter and it got quite the reaction.
Who knew asking before emotionally dumping would be so controversial?

I have used the phrase “I don’t have the emotional capacity to have this conversation” multiple times in the last two months.
Friendship is not giving at the expense of yourself.
I spent years being “a good friend”. I bent over backwards to be a good friend because I thought the only way anyone would want to be around me is if I was useful. So I answered the phone after one ring, I always said yes if I was invited and never once thought about what I needed or wanted. It took me years to learn healthy friendship, boundaries and that most my friendships were codependent.

Now I have the healthiest friendships, and one of the best part about it is I get texts like this ALL THE TIME. It’s kind, respectful and in the last two weeks particularly, has given me the opportunity to say “no, actually I don’t”. In the last month alone, I’ve said no to being able to help organise an event, no to a coffee with a friend because I needed alone time and no to listening to 10th convo about the same ex they don’t want to do anything about.

Ultimately people who emotionally dump have not stopped to ask how the other person is or the headspace they are in. And this whole thread has made me realise people love chatting about self love and self care, as long as you’ve done anything and everything for everyone else first.

I was called a selfish c*** for voicing my views.
If I need to be selfish to take care of myself, I will.
If that makes me whatever name you want to call me, so be it.
Women are trained to be selfless until the point where they breakdown and that isn’t healthy.
I am highest on my priority list.
And you should be the highest on yours.

If you wouldn’t phrase it in the same way Melissa would, then change the way you phrase it but the principle still stands... ASK BEFORE YOU EMOTIONALLY DUMP

Instagram post 2181524180833539694_1610243837

I get asked for writing tips all the time so here they are.
1)Never sit down at a blank page
A blank page is the fastest way to soak up all creativity and give yourself a mind blank. I will spend at least a week just thinking about an idea so when I sit down to write, I know what I’m going to write.
2) Don’t trust your memory
If I have a thought or a sentence jumps into my head, write it down. Even if it’s 2 am in the morning. You will forget it! My notes section in my phone is full of half finished ideas that I sometimes come back to months later.
3)You can’t edit words that don’t exist
Stop editing mid-writing. Whether I’m writing a caption or a book, get it all down first THEN go through and change things. You will spend so long editing, you will never finish it otherwise.
4)Take inspiration when it comes
A lot of people try to force creativity between 9-5. Others get inspired at 2 am in the morning. I’ve tried to fight my natural body clock but now I just take it when it comes - even if it keeps me up til 4 am
5) People spend 95% of the time perfecting 5%
I am not perfectionist about the work I put out. It’s always the small tweaks that take the longest and so often I hit send on an email impulsively and the same with posts! Otherwise you will never move onto the next task

Instagram post 2180729697103742728_1610243837

Society over-glorifies being busy and judges any form of rest. Any activity that is not seen as productive, is seen as a “waste of time”.
This often comes from people connecting their worth to their productivity and a lot of this stems from childhoods where you were not given attention unless you were getting good grades or being a help around the house. This is wrong. You should have been loved for simply being you, not for what you could do.

How many of you in childhood were told TV is bad or a waste of time, and you should be using your time more productively like reading?
Why did no one teach you that using your time to do something fun was productive as well?

I was talking in my stories about how I watch a lot of TV. I’m a TV series junkie. Movies aren’t my thing, books are part of my job and I need something that consumes my focus enough for me to stay off my phone.
And because of this culture of working til we drop, we see rest as useless. It is far from useless‬. Forcing creativity has never worked for me but if I take my mind off it, think about something else, get consumed in a TV show, and relax my brain, I will suddenly have loads of ideas.
My rest is not a distraction from my creativity.
My rest ALLOWS me to be creative.
TV works for me. So instead of judging your form of rest, use it. Judging your form of rest will just make you more tired. And if you use it effectively, you’ll be surprised how much of your relaxation time is when your best ideas come to you.

Also drop your fave TV show below - I always need new suggestions

Instagram post 2180009252217904370_1610243837

Let’s talk about sleep.

The other day in my stories I mentioned I ideally need 10 hours sleep to be good.
Last weekend, I slept 12 hours with a 3 hour nap.
And the longest I have ever slept is 23 hours (and yes my mum had to check I wasn’t dead).
I’m GREAT at sleeping, yet my whole life people have tried to diagnose me or tell me it’s unhealthy for sleeping so much.

I ran every test in the book. I believed them. I’ve tried fighting it. I would force myself up in school but in most cases, I would just get a headache. And I wish back then I knew that all I needed was a few more hours sleep.

But back then I resented the fact that I’ve needed 10 when some people can exist on 5 and always thought I was lazy for needing more rest.
But it’s not lazy.
We all need different amounts of sleep.
As soon as I accepted that, I realised I could never work 9-5 job.
And as soon as I started listening to my body, not only did my pain disappear but my productivity went through the roof.
If I slept a few more hours, I was way more efficient.
Realistically, my extra need for sleep is probably due to the fact my brain works overtime to get rid of extra CSF fluid so if the worst consequence is I need a few more hours sleep, so be it.
•
Coat: @asos (gifted)

connect

latest video

work with me

professional certifications

Copyright © Michelle Elman 2019 | Designed + Developed with by LizTheresa.com