When I was younger, I remember the phrases “girl hot” and “guy hot” floating around. The idea that you could be considered beautiful to just guys or just girls. “Yeah she’s pretty but only to girls”
“No wonder she’s always got a boyfriend, she’s guy hot, I just don’t see it”
It was a way to diminish another’s beauty.
It was a way to add a “yeah but…” to someone else’s compliment.
These were normalised comments.
I never thought twice about them when I first heard them. They were just accepted as fact. We live in a culture that always wants to emphasise the difference between men and women as two separate genders and due to a heteronormative society, the belief that only two exist, so why wouldn’t attractiveness be separated?! Because the key point we were missing is that all beauty is subjective. All attractiveness defers between people and all of it becomes irrelevant when you stop placing importance on that beauty and on other’s opinions.
The damaging idea that as teens we just accepted that we weren’t worth romantic love and weren’t entitled to a relationship if we were “girl hot”. There were so many casual conversations discussing which you’d prefer to be and we’d all ultimately decide that being beautiful to the opposite sex was more important. Playing into a belief that would solidify with age that you are not worthy of you don’t have a boyfriend.
It’s just another method to push women down. You never hear boys talking about guys being “girl hot” or “guy hot”. I’m throwing my hands up and declaring I don’t care if you think I’m hot. My beauty doesn’t define me. #ScarredNotScared